


let my hunger take me there (i wanna be with you everywhere)

by ev0lution



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Vampire AU, all that time reading obscure fic on livejournal WASN'T WASTED, it says it's about vampires but it's actually about LOVE, oh there's some violence so warning on that, the result of an obsession i had with blade trinity when i was fourteen, written for the huge amount of people clamouring for it obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:21:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27516793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ev0lution/pseuds/ev0lution
Summary: Once upon a time, Jyn Erso was a vampire. Now she hunts them.
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso
Comments: 9
Kudos: 49





	let my hunger take me there (i wanna be with you everywhere)

_i wanna be with you everywhere_

* * *

“Just keep moving.”

Easier said than done when you’ve got a broken leg, but Jyn couldn’t think of anything else to say. She wasn’t good at being comforting. She didn’t think Bodhi could even hear her, anyways, over his quick breaths and, when Jyn jostled him too hard, pained moans. Jyn hushed him as gently as she could, glancing around.

Jyn was a big enough person to admit that this was bad. It was really, really bad. It was probably the second worst-looking situation she’d been in, and she hadn’t survived the first. Not technically.

“Come on,” she muttered, trying to get Bodhi to keep moving. But it was an open fracture, his bone sticking right through his calf (she hadn’t told him that yet) and he was losing a lot of blood. He was leaving a trail behind them, too, which made it really, _really_ bad, because they were being followed by _vampires_. Oh, they were fucked. They were so fucked.

“We’re going to be okay,” Jyn said, but it was flat. She couldn’t focus on lying properly, because she’d looked over her shoulder and unintentionally jerked Bodhi a little too hard, and he let out a sharp gasp of pain. “I’m sorry,” she whispered back, upset but trying to shove those feelings back, because she needed to focus if they were going to get out of this.

A group of men appeared around the corner across the street, laughing loudly to themselves. Jyn could tell that they were drunk; her rigid shoulders didn’t relax, even though vamps couldn’t get drunk. Because vamps had little bloodsuckers called familiars, who didn’t suck blood at all, but performed tasks that vampires couldn’t in exchange for a shitty promise. Constant work, smuggling weapons, stealing people, all in hopes they could too, one day, stick their own teeth into someone’s neck. Jyn knew for a fact that the whole _vampirism_ thing was overrated. After all, vampires couldn’t get drunk. Familiars could, though.

Jyn eyed the men carefully, but they didn’t pay her and Bodhi any mind. They didn’t seem to be carrying weapons, either, and that was a thing that most familiars couldn’t bear to keep quiet, showing of glints of knives and guns to get off. Bloodlust was a matter of vanity for familiars.

The men entered a bar down the street and Jyn turned her attention forwards, trying to get them _out_.

She was lucky to get them out of the warehouse district, luckier that it was next to a popular row of pubs, and she could pass Bodhi’s heavy body off as drunk, not injured. Lucky it was dark, and hard to see the swollen black clouding up the end of Bodhi’s jeans. But her luck was sure to run out soon. Because she was Jyn Erso, and it always did.

A van rattled past, sleek and black, but Jyn didn’t miss the neat holes on the side of its door. The men in the front seat glanced at her as they passed; they had neatly slicked hair, impossibly high cheekbones, expensive clothes. An air of someone trying to _look_ rich. Jyn didn’t look directly at them, forcing the tension to drop from her shoulders, standing straight and moving more evenly, though it made Bodhi groan quietly. She hushed him from the corner of her mouth.

The van passed. Jyn watched it turn, then she switched directions abruptly, spinning to her left and feeling Bodhi’s whine of pain rumble through his abdomen. He was barely conscious, now. She needed to get him someplace safe, somewhere she could elevate his leg – but where the hell was safe? Too far from here, _if_ it even existed. With Bodhi slumping against her, his leg bleeding all over the damn place, it felt even farther.

Jyn grit her teeth and bent her knees, hiking Bodhi back up her side. Lights cut down the alley they’d ducked into, then out again. She didn’t look back, moving faster. She had one more clip of bullets; none silver, but if they were just familiars, she didn’t need to worry about that. She still had her silver knife, tucked in her boot, her best one. It had gotten her out of sticky situations before.

Bodhi started to mutter something, slurred and unintelligible. Jyn hushed him absently. She would have to put him down if she wanted to use the knife. Jyn groped around in her waistband, pulling out her gun. She could hear footsteps on the pavement nearby, but they echoed in the alley, and it was hard to tell what direction they came from.

Lights cut back into the alley, this time from in front of them. Jyn blinked, momentarily blinded, and Bodhi groaned louder than he had before.

“Found them,” someone said at the end of the alley. Jyn could make out their shadow once she’d blinked some of the light out of her eyes. She hugged Bodhi more tightly against her, who muttered. She didn’t know if it was pain or blood loss that was making him delirious. She hoped it was pain.

Jyn recognized the sharp blond standing at the end of the alley. The Spike-wannabe wore a leather trench coat that was so stiff it made squeaked when he moved; his lip was still bleeding from where Jyn had punched him. His blood was still on her silver knuckles, which were fastened around the fingers holding Bodhi upright. Jyn liked her silver knuckles because they were useful on vamps _and_ familiars. Nothing responded well to being punched with a line of solid silver.

Jyn was _supposed_ to be gathering intel on the warehouse, and nothing more. But she’d been seen – fancy new alarms she hadn’t expected, which blared the moment she got too close. She was lucky ( _again_ ) that Bodhi was there; he was casing the same place. He must’ve heard the same whispers as Jyn.

She wouldn’t have gotten out without him, so quickly she was overwhelmed by the security. They almost made it, too, sprinting down the fire escape when this big blond familiar stuck his head out the window and shoved Bodhi right off the platform, causing his shin to snap and pierce through his skin. Jyn had hoped something similar had happened to this guy’s head, since he’d toppled off the fire escape too, when she’d punched him. But it looked like this was where her luck ran out.

“Thought you could run, hey sweetie?” It wasn’t the Spike-wannabe talking.

Jyn turned around and recognized another familiar, flanked with friends from the warehouse, walking towards them from the other end of the alley. He made a kissing face at Jyn, marred by the missing teeth that were lodged somewhere in her boot.

“You hunters are getting prettier and – “

But he didn’t finish his thought, because Jyn raised her gun and shot him. The force of it snapped his head back and there was a beat in which his comrades stood, shocked. Jyn was already moving, pulling Bodhi back and shooting another one, hitting him in the stomach so he crumpled. By the time the second had dropped, the familiars remembered themselves and dashed for cover, shoving each other out of the way to reach it. _That_ they were good at – probably whatever vamp they were serving had a short fuse. Familiars were probably a vampire’s most common source of food.

Jyn hauled Bodhi back behind a stack of pallets. It was pathetic cover, not even reaching their waists, and when Jyn set Bodhi down, his broken leg had to be stretched out in front of him, right out in the open, but she had no choice. Because return fire was already raining down on them, and Jyn had to crouch half on top of Bodhi to fit behind their slanted cover, popping up to fire off a couple more shots. She should’ve shot them all and emptied her clip instead of hiding Bodhi, but they were sitting ducks otherwise, Bodhi would’ve been dead for sure. A voice that sounded unnervingly like Saw’s said _now you’re both done for_. She didn’t know if it was a memory or her imagination.

Before she had time to analyze it, she popped up again, firing off another shot. They came in a van. If she could somehow get to it –

Squealing tires, and Jyn ducked automatically, posing herself protectively over Bodhi. More gunshots and Jyn ducked further, avoiding Bodhi’s slowly-blinking eyes. Jyn peeked over the pallet and saw a man kicking the body of one of the familiars, pushing him over with his toe. She knew that silhouette, tall and impossibly broad, his long hair hanging around his shoulders. Which meant –

Turning around, she spotted Cassian, holstering his weapon and walking towards her with his hands out, like she was an animal in danger of biting.

Relief washed over her. She’d never been so lucky as when Cassian Andor walked into her life.

“Jyn,” he said, quietly, the way he always said it. Jyn shook her head. _Not now_.

“Bodhi’s hurt,” she said firmly, standing up from her position to move and crouch beside Bodhi, pulling his arm back over her shoulders. She purposefully jostled him a little, shaking the unconsciousness away. He needed to stay awake as long as he could. Wordlessly, Cassian stepped over Bodhi’s legs and got on his other side, putting Bodhi’s other arm over his shoulders and pulling Bodhi to his feet in time with Jyn.

“The car,” Cassian said, leading them to the vehicle he and Baze had arrived in. Baze was already behind the wheel, waiting for them. They loaded Bodhi into the back and Jyn climbed in after, but not before Cassian grasped her wrist, tight and brief, stamping a bloody bracelet on her. Jyn met his eye, just as briefly, before climbing in the vehicle, Cassian taking the front passenger seat.

“ _Promise_ ,” Bodhi’s voice was horrible and hoarse, and made her drag her eyes to him immediately. Jyn tried to hold his leg as still as she could and looked at his fluttering eyelashes. “Ssss-stay…. ‘til… ‘m better.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jyn said, “I promise. Okay? Just rest, now. Rest. But stay awake, don’t – don’t go to sleep. Count for me. All the way to a hundred and back again.”

Bodhi moved his mouth in something she guessed was supposed to be a smile. Then he sighed and shut his eyes, face screwed up in pain. Jyn was about to shake him, but he opened his eyes and began to count, slowly and with great concentration. Jyn wrenched her eyes away from Bodhi’s face, feeling sicker and sicker, and focused on holding his leg as still as she could, staring at Cassian’s profile. His counting kept climbing, though he occasionally missed numbers. _Fifteen… eighteen… nineteen… twenty…_

Cassian was looking back at Bodhi, “Well done, Bodhi.” He glanced up at her and away, back to the front. Jyn looked back to Bodhi and, when it became too much, she shut her eyes again.

Her mind went to the dark, to Cassian two years ago, the first glimpse she ever had of him. She’d been so hungry it _hurt_. So hungry, she would’ve done anything to end it. Hunger, when severe enough, made your body sore and stiff, your whole being heavy and exhausted. It made you angry and desperate and hopeless when it went on too long, when it was so bad you started thinking of different ways to end it, each more severe than the last.

When she’d first met Cassian, Jyn had inhuman canines and eyes that could see in the dark, as well as a scar tucked carefully under her jaw, just two little pinpricks. Even chained up, it was meant to be an uneven playing field in her favour. Especially with the door locked from the outside. Jyn had sharp teeth and elevated reflexes and a mind-numbing hunger – but Cassian had a plan.

 _“Special delivery,”_ Krennic had taunted on the edge of her cage, his own incisors gleaming unnaturally white.

Krennic had been right, at least. Cassian _was_ a special delivery. It wasn’t every day you were served your deliverance.

ð ð ð

_Krennic’s boots echoed as they walked away. Jyn had fed in the last few weeks; Krennic knew how long she could hold out. Krennic would probably reappear in a few days, when Jyn was curled in on herself for hunger, and her newest victim had started to suffer from dehydration himself. As it was, there wasn’t enough entertainment for Krennic. Not yet._

_Jyn shifted deliberately, the chains clinking in the narrow cage. She watched the outline of the man start on the other side of the cage, turning towards her immediately. If she could only see his outline, she doubted he could see anything at all in the near pitch-darkness. She could make out his hands checking his holsters for weapons. But they would be gone._

_His movement confirmed her hunch. Krennic wasn’t too choosy in who he threw in the cage with her, but he liked to bring her hunters. He thought it was funny._

_She could smell iron coming from the hunter, sharp and wet. Jyn watched his silhouette settle back against the wall. She squinted carefully at him in the dark. Almost always, hunters tried to attack her right off the bat. The smart ones were feeling her out, getting a handle on her strength; the dumb ones thought they could kill her without a weapon. This one was different, leaned against the wall, without a care in the world – but bleeding. Maybe Krennic’s guys had hit him harder than they were supposed to._

_“You’re bleeding,” she said, half a warning. Her stomach knotted in on itself. She was a starving vampire within feet of a Thanksgiving feast. The thought made her vaguely nauseous._

_The man didn’t respond. He remained still, watching her. Jyn shifted again, his seeming calm making her restless._

_“I’m supposed to eat you, you know,” she said, airily, like she was discussing the weather. “Don’t worry. I can usually hold out for a while. So. Enjoy your last few days.” She smiled sarcastically, knowing her teeth would practically glow, how white they were._

_“You don’t_ want _to eat me?” The man finally spoke, sounding incredulous._

_“Don’t take it personally, I’m sure you’re very handsome,” Jyn drawled, leaned back against the flat cement wall. Jyn thought about his voice – low, almost gravelly, accented. She decided she liked it._

_Jyn hooked her fingers into the rings bolted to the wall. Made of silver, they burned away at her skin, distracting her from the hunger pains in her stomach. Jyn lifted her finger off and felt it slowly begin to heal, though the smell of her burned flesh helped cover up the smell of his blood. When she had fed recently, the burns healed immediately; but seeing as it had been weeks, it would probably take much longer. She cradled her hand to her chest and focused on the pulsing of her skin, throbbing with pain._

_“Are you chained to the wall?” He asked, still relaxed against the wall. He could care less he was in a cage with a hungry vampire, apparently. Either he thought he was hot shit, or he was an excellent actor._

_“Yes,” Jyn said, not seeing a point in lying. “The chain isn’t long enough to reach you over there.” But he would come to her eventually. They always did._

_“Why should I believe you?” Not accusatory; calm, even genuinely interested._

_“Give me a good reason for lying,” Jyn replied boredly. “We’re both locked down here. Nothing to do but talk.” It rang too close to the truth, so she added, “Eating someone is a pretty intimate thing. We should probably get off on the right foot.”_

_He didn’t laugh. She wouldn’t have, either._

_Jyn shifted again, feeling restless. She wanted to stand up, but she didn’t want him to try to fight her. He hadn’t, yet, and she was curious to know why._

_“The chains are because they like you.” It wasn’t phrased as a question, but it was said like one._

_Jyn snorted. “What, the guest quarters aren’t nice enough for you, hunter? There’s entertainment, and_ real _silver.” She lifted her wrists, so he could see them glint in the low light._

_“Who’d you piss off?” The hunter asked, still leaned casually against the wall. She wished he’d move, so she could see more than just his outline. She wanted a face to match the voice._

_“Same person you did, I imagine,” Jyn said, dropping her head against the wall. “But you’re getting off easy, trust me.”_

_“Getting eaten is getting off easy, is it?”_

_She knew what he was doing. He was talking in questions and sarcastic remarks, not giving her anything about himself. Buying himself time. She’d play his game. All they had was time._

_“It’s easier than getting turned,” she said. She touched her tongue to her sharp teeth and shut her eyes. Usually this conversation didn’t come until a week or two in, when she and her food had worn each other down. Jyn could never help herself. Learning about their_ families _and their_ tragic backstories _and_ goddamn hopes and dreams _because she loved to torture herself, apparently. She was doing Krennic’s job for him at this point._

_“You didn’t want to be turned?” The hunter asked, sounding interested._

_“Did I want Krennic to bite me and leave me with an insatiable thirst for human blood?” She pretended to think about it. “Does that sound appealing to you?” He wasn’t the only one who could talk in confusing, sarcastic questions._

_“We have a cure.”_

_Over the years, Jyn had heard dozens of responses to that question. She didn’t think anything could shock her anymore. She was wrong._

_Jyn’s eyes snapped open and she looked at him. She stared hard at him. “You’re lying.”_

_“Give me a good reason to lie,” he shot back at her. It would’ve made her smile if she wasn’t so tied up in what he’d just told her. Jyn stood, stepping across the cell, forgetting her earlier decision to keep her distance. Unfortunately, it made the Kleenex she kept stuffed between her silver cuffs and her wrists slip, burning her immediately. She’d swiped the Kleenex off a victim months (weeks?) ago, the flimsy paper nearly disintegrated._

_Gritting her teeth and moving the Kleenex back, ignoring the blisters that popped up all over her fingertips, “Does it work?”_

_“We don’t know,” the hunter answered her. Jyn stopped at the end of her chain length, wrists stuck out awkwardly behind her, staring at him._

_“How many vamps have you tried it on?”_

_“None.”_

_Jyn laughed, hollow and mirthless. She stepped back. “You’re full of it.”_

_“We’ve heard of you,” the hunter said. “A girl Krennic keeps in his basement. One he turned against her will. A hunter.” She flinched at the word, like it burned worse than the silver. “My friends are coming for me any minute now. I activated a tracker as soon as you started talking, and they’re coming to get me. You, too, if you agree.”_

_“Not much of a choice,” Jyn said, but she was considering it. She was almost sold on it._

_“You could die,” the hunter said. “But is death worse than this?” Jyn watched him in silence and he said, “We’ve had it ready for months. We could’ve grabbed any vamp. But we want it to be you. We want a survivor.”_

ð ð ð

The last few months since she’d left them had been a constant shift between narrow safehouses and closet-like boltholes. Jyn couldn’t help but be impressed by the hideout they had rustled up; it was certainly an upgrade from the old warehouse, when Cassian had rescued her and they’d injected something that burned like liquid sunlight into her veins.

She didn’t remember much from the early days of taking the cure – she’d been in a fever for twelve days before it had broke – but afterwards, in the months it took to rebuild her strength and become more than a pale skeleton, she’d had some freedom in that hideout. She had to wear cuffs at all times for the first few months, and she had a babysitter for longer, but she was free to roam the long warehouse corridors and sit in the lab or the kitchen, watching Kay or Baze work for hours. They even let her into their makeshift gym, where they monitored her heart rate as she learned to run again and took blood to measure her oxygen levels.

But that warehouse, which was very dear to Jyn, was a dank hole compared to this place. The new hideout was also built out of an old warehouse, but it was the opposite of the other one, with wide, open windows laced with chicken wire and security bars, and automatic UV lights strong enough to dust a vampire. It lacked the rugged practicality that the old hideout had, but it obviously had money the last one had missed.

The first hideout had been one of many, a place to use and dump, a place for people on the run. But this – this place was the mark of a real rebellion, not a hideout for young, scared amateurs. It was no wonder they’d picked up a shiny new name – _Night Stalkers_ – to go with it. Somehow the usual term of _hunter_ didn’t fit.

The locker rooms, Jyn was almost relieved to see, were a remnant of the building’s original rooms. Nothing special – just rows of lockers and stalls of toilets opposite a row of shower stalls. Jyn chose the last in the row and kept her eyes down, watching red swirl in the water on the way to the drain.

It was all Bodhi’s blood. Jyn had checked herself for wounds and found nothing worse than a few nasty bruises, a handful of scratches on her arms. She wouldn’t have been surprised to find anything worse – her adrenaline had been pumping so hard in that alley, she doubted she would’ve felt a bullet – but now that adrenaline was draining out of her, leaving her heavy-limbed and sore in the rapidly-cooling water.

The tap squealed as she turned it off, echoing loudly through the empty rows of lockers. Jyn stepped out carefully from the shower, wrapped tightly in a towel. Cassian had left clothes on the bench between the rows of stalls and had whisked away what she’d been wearing before. He’d rescue them, she knew, wash it all in bleach to get the blood out and try to fix it up for her. In the old hideout, they’d gotten in the habit of making every dollar stretch. Pulling on the old sweatpants and the long sleeve shirt, she shoved her fingers through her hair to get the worst of its knots out. Cassian had left a new hair tie for her, too, so she pulled it back into a low bun.

The shower had turned on every light in her mind, so it woke and barked several questions at a time. But her body was leaden, overwrought from the fight and the chase and the overpowering feeling of safety. Knowing where she was, who she was with, made it harder and harder to keep moving, because she knew she could stop, lie down, and be safe.

Jyn checked the time – barely midnight. She’d only been hunting for about an hour before everything went to hell, and she hadn’t been in the shower for very long. Jyn had a long night ahead of her.

Cassian was waiting in the hall, leaning with his arms crossed, eyes shut. He didn’t fool her for a second; he would’ve heard the shower shut off, the quiet pad of her feet on tile.

“Bodhi’s in surgery with Kay and Baze,” he told her, eyes opening and focusing back in on her. He looked tired. “We’ve got enough drugs to stop the pain, but setting the bone is tricky.”

These were Kay’s words, translated from statistics in his mouth. Jyn had known he would get an update while she scraped the drying blood off her skin. The smell of blood made her nauseous now, bringing up memories of a heavy stomach and a mouthful of copper, and it still hung in the cloud of steam from the shower. It was good to have something else to focus on, even if she had to press her sleeve to her mouth and nose to do it.

Upon their arrival to base, they’d brought Bodhi straight to what Cassian called the _med bay_ – before, when she was still in threat of bursting into flame in sunlight, their _med bay_ had been a narrow room in the warehouse basement, the only one without windows.

“We may need to bring him to a hospital,” Cassian was looking at her so intently, they could’ve been back in that cage. She breathed deeply in the smell of her shirt, clean, generic detergent and familiar woody scents of pine.

Jyn’s response was automatic, “They’ll be watching the hospitals.” She rubbed her temple, feeling jumbled. Everything was moving so slowly. It was like being back in that basement again, when everything blended together until she was left without a clue if weeks or months had passed.

“We’ve got a sympathetic vet,” Cassian said, “If we can get Bodhi to a real surgery, even one for animals…”

Jyn nodded along. He wouldn’t offer it if he didn’t trust it. “Of course.” Her head was aching. Did she have a concussion? She didn’t remember hitting her head.

Cassian nodded too, watching her. He stepped towards her and said, “Jyn…”

She looked up at him, hugging herself, and blurted, “This is my fault.” She looked down the hall, so she didn’t have to look at him, vision blurring, “I was an idiot, they spotted me – Bodhi went in to help me.”

“It’s not your fault,” Cassian said softly, stepping towards her, reaching for her, “Jyn –”

“Jyn!”

Cassian retracted and they both turned, finding Chirrut walking down the hall. Jyn blinked fast, ridding her eyes of any tears. Chirrut’s stick tapped out in front of him, “I thought I’d heard your voice.”

“Chirrut,” Jyn said warmly. She reached out to take his offered hand with both of hers; he squeezed almost too tight.

“You’ve been away for too long,” he said, and she could feel Cassian’s eyes on her, heavy.

“I’ve had things to do,” Jyn said, grasping his hand back.

“Too long,” Chirrut insisted, shaking his head. “Come on. Let’s eat something.”

ð ð ð

It was a new hideout, but Jyn recognized some of the furniture, brought over from the last place. She spotted a chair she’d used a lot in the early days after they’d rescued her from Krennic, weirdly glad it had made it. She was strangely attached to that chair. It helped her learn how to walk again, back in the day.

Her first round of the vaccine they called Daystar knocked on her ass and left her unconscious and feverish for days. When the fever finally broke and she woke up, she’d purged her body of old blood immediately (loudly, and all over the floor).

It had taken her a while to regain her strength – that stupid chair had been very helpful. She’d leaned on it a lot when her legs were still wobbly and unpredictable. She was even sitting in that chair when Cassian asked her name, the first of the other hunters to brave the task, since she’d obviously avoided telling them.

_“Jyn Erso,” she’d said for the first time in years. Not even her meals in Krennic’s basement had gotten it out of her. There was something croaking about it, something rusted. She’d avoided telling them before, almost scared to say it out loud. Her hands betrayed her nervousness, wrapped in a death grip around the chipped, second-hand chair._

_Cassian had repeated her name back to her, quiet and weighing each letter, like it was longer than the three syllables it was made of. Like maybe, he’d recognized it. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he had. Her parents had been rather famous hunters before they were murdered, Jyn rescued by Saw Guerra and kidnapped not long after._

_“Alright, Jyn Erso,” he said, saying her name again, like he knew each time he did a light inside her unexpectedly brightened. “You want to try for a walk?”_

_Jyn hadn’t gotten out of bed except for trips to the bathroom, once she was strong enough, and she needed someone to walk her there. But then Cassian was unhooking her cuff from the bed rail, helping her lean on the chair as she stood. He walked to her left side and took her arm._

_“On three,” he said. “One… two… three.”_

_Jyn wobbled on her feet, her ankles feeling weak and her knees knocking. She clenched her teeth and stared at the floor five feet in front of her._

_Carefully and together, they walked to the door and into the hall. The automatic lights flicked on and Jyn flinched, but when Cassian made to stop to let her get her bearings, she kept moving. She tugged him wordlessly, fingers like talons in his arm._

_They walked all the way to the end of the hall. Jyn hadn’t ever been so proud of walking so short a distance. She wanted to go again, but by the time they returned to the door to her room, her legs were quaking so badly that Cassian had looped an arm around her waist to keep her upright._

_As he helped her into the bed, she couldn’t stop smiling, because she’d finally held down broth and some bread, and she’d made it all the way down the hallway and back. And someone knew her name. Cassian still cuffed her hand back to the bed, but there was something encouraging in his look, something that made her want to try again._

_She asked the question she’d had for a few days now, after seeing it written on some of Kay’s files. “Who’s Stardust?”_

_“You,” Cassian said, not meeting her eye. “We didn’t know your name, so that’s what we started to call you.”_

But she was Jyn from then on.

Cassian had been her main nurse, checking her fluids and her vitals, bringing her meals, and supervising blood tests to make sure she wouldn’t rip out Kay’s throat. He took her for walks up and down the windowless basement hall, since none of them knew if she’d still burst into flame in the sunlight, and no one was willing to risk it.

Cassian began to bring her things, too. She would return to her room after a shower or some test Kay wanted to run and find second-hand clothes folded neatly on her bed, or sturdy new boots with steel toes that had been replaced with silver. By then, silver wasn’t burning her anymore, and she spent the night touching the plates, memorizing their shape and position, imagining planting them into some unsuspecting vamp.

One day, after their usual walk through the basement hall, Cassian had caught Jyn looking curiously at books stacked in one of the downstairs closets. He began to bring beat-up novels with bent covers, first the ones from the closet, then ones from the second-hand store he bought her clothes at. He brought her historical fiction, including a book set in the twenties with sweethearts who called one another _baby vamp,_ and thrilling mysteries that dug their claws into her, and even left her a harlequin romance once, one that made her laugh harder than she had in five years, about a werewolf who fell in love with a mortal.

In the present, Jyn took the chair and pulled it up to the round table. Chirrut sat beside her at the table, hand on her shoulder as he asked about how she was doing, how she was managing on her own.

“I keep on the move,” Jyn told him, helping herself to one of the rolls in the middle of the table. “It’s fine.” She ripped the roll in half and stuffed half of it in her mouth, barely able to chew it.

The Night Stalkers always had good food around thanks to Baze, who pretended to be annoyed about his charge of the kitchen but threatened anyone who tried to go in unsupervised. The kitchen was an upgrade, too – all stainless steel appliances and a set of kitchen knives stuck to a magnetic board over the stove. She thought of the pathetic stove at the last place, the stained hot plate that had to step in on occasion for it.

Cassian settled on her other side at the kitchen table’s bench, matching her hip to hip. He set a bowl in front of her, full of steaming chili from the stove, probably left out by Baze. Jyn pressed her knee against his in thanks.

Chirrut said, “How are the boltholes?” He’d helped her secure a couple hideouts over the last couple months. Though, compared to this new hideout, they were little more than broom closets with impressive locks.

“Good,” Jyn said, “I’ve been cycling through them. And thanks for the extra medical supplies.” She’d come back the other day and found them left on her cot, a note signed from Chirrut but in Baze’s handwriting on top.

“Of course,” Chirrut said, “I’m only sorry I missed you.”

Jyn nodded somewhat absently, casting a look at the door. Cassian said, “Bodhi’s going to be fine, Jyn. They’ve already taken blood from me in case they need a transfusion.”

That would make two of their crew with Cassian’s blood running through their veins; O-negative blood was hard to come by. Jyn pressed her knee into his again, and said, “He was on a supply run for you? Or recon?”

“Both,” Cassian answered, “He run into you?”

“Yeah,” Jyn said, “I was watching this warehouse, thought it might be a nest – “ And then she stopped, because she shouldn’t have said that. She knew she shouldn’t have said that, even without the way Cassian’s hand tightened around his spoon. After a beat, his voice was quiet.

“You were going after a whole _nest_ by yourself?”

“No,” Jyn said, imploring, “ _No_. I just wanted to check it out. I was going to call you in if it was a whole nest, I swear.”

Cassian held her eye for a moment, then relaxed. He nodded, gesturing for her to continue.

“I got a tipoff for the place, so I was scoping it out. But there was security I hadn’t anticipated. I tripped the alarm. If Bodhi hadn’t stumbled upon me, I would’ve gotten my ass kicked.”

Cassian was studying his chili. She knew he didn’t like it, her going off on her own. But it was something she _had_ to do, and something she had to do alone. They’d already argued about it enough that Cassian knew better than to start it up again.

“I’ve got some chores to get to,” Cassian said, standing, and it would’ve felt like a brush off, if he hadn’t leaned in, covering it by reaching for his bowl and speaking very low. “Last room on the left.”

“Ah, yes,” Chirrut said, apparently not having heard Cassian’s whisper. “We have company coming tonight. I would cancel, but it’s an appointment we’ve set for a while. Perhaps you could step in for Bodhi?” Jyn nodded, knowing the kind of _appointment_ Chirrut was referring to. Some vamps kept purposefully erratic schedules; if they were after someone specific, this was probably a rare window. “I could use your help as well, Jyn, getting some things in order around here.”

So she followed Chirrut and helped him with several tasks, everything from double checking security systems to cleaning the bathroom. It was probably the most _normal_ thing Jyn had done for years, especially since Chirrut’s idea of her “helping” was actually getting Jyn to do most of the work while he sat around spouting half-intelligible wisdom while she did so. It was nice to have the distraction.

Kay and Baze emerged from the med bay a couple hours later, looking exhausted but not upset. Jyn, who’d been cleaning the dishes in the sink, turned around, drying her hands on the towel.

“Jyn Erso _._ ” Kay always said her name like it was a surprise she was still alive. It probably was. He’d injected her with experimental poison two years ago and she was still walking. “Bodhi will be fine,” Kay said before she could ask, “He is likely to have arthritis at an earlier age, and he will need extensive physiotherapy and healing time, but he should recover fully.”

Relief rushed through her. Feeling generous, Jyn dipped her head in thanks before retrieving them both bowls of chili, reheated in the microwave. She set the bowls down at the table in front of them, where Chirrut was questioning their progress.

“We used titanium screws to reset the bone,” Kay said, adjusting his over-large glasses.

“Like cornflakes in some parts,” Baze grunted, reaching for the hot sauce and pouring a liberal amount of his chili. “But fixable,” he said, catching Jyn’s look.

Twisted guilt tangled up in her gut; it was her fault. She should’ve been more careful, and Bodhi wouldn’t have needed to come to her rescue. _This_ was why it was better she was alone – _this_ was why she shouldn’t –

Kay’s loud, abrupt voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Have you continued to take a supplement for vitamin D and D3?” He had obviously changed since the surgery, wearing clothes that must’ve passed as pajamas for Kay – a button-down silk shirt and matching pants. His glasses were uncharacteristically smudged. “Because, as you know, you were severely deficient of these vitamins after lacking exposure to the body’s normal source of these vitamins, such as the sun – “

“I take them every day,” she assured him, almost smiling at his brusque, abrupt care, despite the knot still in her chest.

Kay sniffed, “Well, I have several packages for your consumption in the lab.”

“Thank you,” Jyn said, and meaning it for more than the stupid vitamins.

Kay, of course, was the father of Daystar. She’d initially mistaken his care as rooted in Jyn being the first – and only – successful subject of his cure, but now she knew better. He was a lot more sentimental than his robotic demeanor suggested.

Kay and Baze both finished their meals in minutes, clearly wrung out. Kay announced he was going to go check on how Bodhi was sleeping, but Baze stood from the table and looked down at her.

“Anybody give you a room, yet,” Baze grunted. Jyn shook her head and Baze turned, leaving back to the hall. Jyn followed as she was meant to.

The room was spartan, but clean, and had a bed. Jyn’s standards for luxury were very low, so her eyebrows popped up, impressed. A whole guest room. Since when was hospitality part of the hunting business?

Baze stood in the doorway while she ran her fingers across the short dresser then the neatly made bed.

“You get visitors often?” Jyn asked a little snidely. She heard herself then looked at Baze, an apology in her expression. She hadn’t meant it. It was just – this was all throwing her off. It was throwing her off and she didn’t know how to wrap her head around it. When did hunters get so much cash? Since when did they have the foresight to build a _guest room_? Jyn survived mostly off theft and cons run through vampiric bank accounts. It was enough to keep a couple small safehouses in the city, enough for a month’s rent and bullets and sometimes medical supplies, if her aim was alright.

Baze accepted her apology with a nod of his head, then looked into the room. “You heard of Leia Organa?” Jyn furrowed her brows. Of course she had – daughter of the only vampire who had willingly come back to the good side, and the mother who dug her claws into him and brought him back. Daughter of adoptive parents who were legends in their line of work, who looked over what was essentially their kingdom of hunters in this part of the world.

“She’s starting a… collective,” Baze said. At Jyn’s skeptic look, he shrugged. “Better than it sounds. And she’s good. Got lots of money behind her, and more contacts. She built this with the intent of it lasting.”

One look between them meant they shared the same feeling about that. If there was one constant in their line of work, it was that there were no constants. This place would burn sure enough that Jyn would go for another hunt. It was only a matter of time.

Baze hadn’t been a legacy, like Jyn; he was like Bodhi, stumbling on vampires through tragedy. A newbie vamp, one too young to know how to be discreet, had ripped his temple and its members apart in front of him and Chirrut when they were barely out of their teens. A group of hunters had shown up to stop the vamp, and they’d been in the game ever since.

Jyn hugged herself and went to the window. It was cold in all that concrete; no fancy funds could completely stave it off. That was another thing Jyn still wasn’t used to. She’d spent five years dunked in the cold, immune to feeling it, that now, when she could feel warmth again, she felt coolness even more sharply.

“You’re still after him, aren’t you? Taking out his old businesses now?” Baze asked. Jyn hummed at the tense. _Are. Always will be_. She looked at him and he said, “We heard the same tip. Though we knew it was a bad one. Lawson’s been on the vamp’s side for weeks.”

Jyn nodded, hugging herself a little tighter. “Money or blood?” Was he paid or threatened?

“Money,” Baze said. “It’s how we knew. Organa’s got contacts in a few banks, and Lawson was handed five thousand dollars the same night he sent us the tip. I’d be he got another five tonight.”

It was almost insulting. She’d thought the price on her head was higher.

“You shouldn’t be doing this alone, little sister,” Baze said. But he didn’t know Krennic, not like Jyn. Vamps were vain and heartless and had endless appetites. Krennic liked to play with his food, and he surrounded himself with vamps who were the same. Look what he did to Jyn: turning her then leaving her in the dark, until the hunger was so painful that she did horrible things to end it. If his little empire learned that Jyn cared about something, about _people_? They would be dead before dawn. Or worse.

Jyn, without an answer, just shrugged. Baze stepped into the room and kissed her forehead. His beard scratched her face when he did, but it was more familiar than any memory she had of her father or Saw. Then he left silently. She almost wished he’d stay, just stand in silence with her, but she knew he probably had business around the hideout to tend to.

Jyn spent some time inspecting her room, opening every drawer and peering in the closet. The only thing she found was a familiar stack of second-hand novels, gathered up on the shelf beside the window. She thumbed through one about a werewolf, half-smiling.

She didn’t have anything to put in the empty dresser, no clothes to hang up in the closet. Jyn left the room as she found it, shoving the old paperback into her back pocket. She went down the hall to the med bay, where the tiled floors had been mopped of the blood Bodhi had spilled. Bodhi was still in the bed that she and Cassian had lifted him into, his eyes closed and his breathing slow. His face was free of pain or fear, soothed into peace in his sleep.

Kay was in the next hospital bed, sleeping close to the monitor. In his sleep, he looked more human than she was prepared for. The surgery had taken a lot out of him. Jyn thought that, were she someone else, this would be the moment where she pulled the blankets up over his shoulders or made sure he had a cup of water beside his bed. But she wasn’t, and she was sure she would wake him if she tried anything anyways. Instead she stepped to the end of Bodhi’s bed and hugged herself, looking down at him.

She watched Bodhi for a moment – had she looked like that, recovering from Daystar? Had she looked so peaceful and serene, even though her body was wreaking havoc on itself? She doubted it. Once again, she was seized with an instinct she didn’t quite understand – one that made her want to check his temperature with a palm on his forehead, even though she didn’t know what to check for. Did blood loss make you feverish or cold? Instead, she stepped back out of the doorway and continued down the hall, passing door after door.

Jyn could hear Baze and Chirrut’s soft voices drifted from the kitchen; she listened as she walked, picking up their quiet banter as they sorted out a supply run. She even stopped in the hall to listen for a moment, remembering all the times she’d walked in on them doing just this back when she lived with them. Jyn wrapped her arms more tightly around herself, thinking of the run _she_ needed to accomplish – lots of easy-make meals and super glue, because she was terrible at giving herself stitches. The thought made her inexplicably lonely.

Jyn continued down the hall to the last door on the left. She paused to knock softly but only knocked once and didn’t pause longer than a beat, more to announce her arrival than to wait for permission. Jyn opened the door.

Cassian was sitting on the bed, mending something that looked like her shirt. It looked like he’d been able to get all the blood out. It sent a flush of warmth down her chest. Jyn closed the door and leaned back against it, watching him. Remembering how careful he was with things, always.

Cassian finished the stitches and tied it off before he looked up at her, looking so intently that it made her flush. Then he set aside the sewing and stood up, crossing the room and taking her face in his hands, pausing for a breath to look at her. Slowly, carefully, Cassian lowered his forehead against hers. Jyn shut her eyes; it was almost too much, being this close. She needed him so much closer. They hung, suspended for a breath, before he leaned in and kissed her.

Jyn backed up and leaned against the door. Cassian dropped his hand to her waist, sliding his fingers up the edge of her shirt. Jyn focused on the warmth of his hands and remembered the first time he’d kissed her, almost a full year ago.

She’d been staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, uncomfortable and angry at the years that felt stolen from her. At twenty-six, she still looked twenty. Five years, she’d been suspended in her age. She would forever be playing catch up and she hated it. She wanted her age. She wanted those years back.

Almost a full year ago, Jyn had stared at herself in the mirror, desperate for her lost years, and Cassian had knocked.

_Cassian smiled when he saw her, the scissors hanging loosely in her fingers. Reaching up, almost without a thought, he brushed his fingers through her new bangs._

_“You cut your hair,” he said, eyebrows raising at the mess she’d made. Jyn turned her eyes back to her reflection so she wouldn’t blush at his half-smile, his fingers still in her hair._

_“I thought it’d make me look older,” Jyn said, studying her reflection._

_“It looks nice,” he said, dropping his fingers to look in the mirror at her too. She bumped his chest with her shoulder in thanks, absently sweeping some of her hair down the drain._

_Then she’d turned around and said abruptly, the words popping from her mouth, “I’ve got to go after Krennic. And I’ve got to do it alone.”_

_It wasn’t the first time they’d argued it, but there was finality in her tone that hinted she wouldn’t be moving on the subject. She wouldn’t risk him, not even for this. Especially not for this._

_“I can’t stop you from going,” Cassian said eventually, quietly, getting closer and closer, “But maybe this will persuade you to come back.”_

He’d only gotten better at kissing her, finding all the places that made her toes curl and her heart stutter. Cassian’s hands slid up her waist, rucking up her shirt. He pulled back for a moment and Jyn kept her eyes shut, expecting his forehead to touch hers, or his lips to find her neck. She didn’t expect him to swear.

She opened her eyes and found him looking down at her abdomen, and remembered, belatedly. His hands had moved her shirt up to her ribs, revealing a yellow and purple bruise crossing her stomach, which looked, admittedly, horrible. Especially since it made out a very clear imprint of a boot.

“Jyn.” He said her name like a curse. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing,” she said, trying to move her shirt back down and looking over his shoulder. But the damage had been done. The second she began to push at her shirt, Cassian stepped backwards, hands up.

“That’s not nothing,” Cassian said, looking up at her, “You could’ve perforated an organ getting hit that hard – “ he broke off into Spanish, the same way he always did when he was overwhelmed.

“It’s not a big deal,” Jyn said, leaning back against the door and crossing her arms protectively over her stomach. “I’m fine.”

“You’re _not_ fine,” Cassian said, shaking his head, “Jyn, you could’ve had internal bleeding, a hit that hard – “

“I don’t, obviously – “

“You don’t _know_ that,” Cassian snapped, making her draw back and raise her eyebrows. “This wouldn’t have happened if you had backup – _Christ_ , Jyn _–_ “

“We can get hurt with or without people there,” Jyn bit back, “Look at Bodhi – nearly bled out right in front of me.”

“Well maybe it wouldn’t have happened if you were working _together_ ,” Cassian said and they both froze, staring at one another. Jyn didn’t say a word, whirling around and wrenching open the door, nearly hitting Cassian. She didn’t care. She slammed it shut, holding the doorknob.

Slowly, she shut her eyes. He was right. If Bodhi hadn’t tried to save her, he would be fine. He wouldn’t have bones like _corn flakes_ – that one was going to stick with her for a while – which was why it was _best_ she kept away from them. If she didn’t – they could end up with worse than a broken bone.

But the second she’d left Cassian’s room, she wanted to go back in. She paused, about to twist the doorknob. Then she got closer to the door, ear nearly touching it.

Something hit the floor hard – thrown or kicked. The springs groaned as Cassian sat down on his mattress. She could see him in her mind’s eye, dropping his face into his hands. Then silence.

Jyn retracted slowly. She carefully let go of the handle and turned, back in the direction of the med bay, ignoring the uncomfortable realization that the voices from the kitchen had gone quiet.

Jyn scolded herself: she knew better. The bad wounds always made him upset. She should’ve turned off the lights, moved his hands. She should’ve known he was going to get upset if he saw them.

Stomping into the med bay, she’d planned on curling up in the chair beside Bodhi until he woke up. She hadn’t planned for Kay to be awake. He looked up at Jyn, blinking.

“You’re awake,” she said, looking from Kay to the monitor at Bodhi’s side, which Kay was apparently adjusting.

“You stomp when you walk,” Kay replied. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought you already knew,” Jyn said, sitting in the chair and drawing her knee up, “I was put here to annoy you.”

“Ha. Ha,” Kay’s fake laugh was overly robotic. Jyn looked at Bodhi. He was pale. She wondered if they _had_ given him a transfusion. He might’ve needed it.

“Why are you not with Cassian?”

Jyn darted to look at Kay, glaring immediately and defensively. “Why would I be with Cassian?” She paused, then said, “Why not with Baze or Chirrut, or – _Bodhi’s_ the one on his deathbed.”

“Broken bones generally are not life-threatening conditions,” Kay said, “And I can assure you, my work is far beyond adequate. Must I remind you that, before I decided to devote my life to hunting vampires, I completed my doctorate in cardiology?”

Jyn hummed, hugging both of her knees up to her chest, and mumbled, “No, but I’m sure you’ll remind me.”

He blinked owlishly through his glasses, “Do not think that I have failed to notice you avoided my question. I will still answer yours, however. I do not expect you to visit anyone but Cassian due to the fact that you regularly cohabitate with him when you do stay with us, and that, when Cassian goes to _check on you_ ,” he made a face that clearly conveyed he didn’t like the connotation, “He does not return until the following evening. When I questioned Cassian on the matter, he told me it was because you have nightmares.”

Despite herself, Jyn gave him a small smile. “That’s what he said, was it?” It wasn’t _entirely_ a lie. She did have nightmares. But that wasn’t why they were sleeping together.

Jyn looked back to Bodhi, hugging herself a little tighter. “He’s upset with me,” she said, not looking at Kay.

“Oh,” Kay said. Then he turned back to Bodhi’s machine, fiddling with it once again.

“He’s worried I’m going to get hurt because I’m hunting on my own,” Jyn said, watching the IV on Bodhi’s arm. “But he doesn’t understand that this is something I need to do.”

Kay said, still fiddling with the machine, “I do not need to know about your private – _emotional_ matters, especially those concerning Cassian. I simply enquired why you decided to come here and bother _me_.”

Jyn continued, ignoring his words. “But he doesn’t understand – _this_ ,” she gestured to Bodhi’s prone form, _“_ Is what happens when people get involved with me. It’s _dangerous_.”

“Jyn, please.”

“He gets so upset when I get hurt,” Jyn said, “But we _all get hurt_ , that’s the business we’re in. It _happens_ , we can’t help it, it’s the chance we willingly take!” Kay had gone quiet, apparently accepting his fate. “He can’t _protect_ me from everything! That’s just… how the world works. _This_ world, anyways.”

Kay sighed loudly, halting her. “If you _insist_ on speaking to _me_ – is this not exactly the basis of your argument for working alone? That you are putting us all in danger, yet we are performing the same work that you do? We are willingly taking the same risks?”

Jyn stared at him for a moment. Weakly, she said, “It’s different.”

“How so?” Kay asked. Jyn shrugged. Kay stood, “Then that is your answer. Excuse me.” He turned and left, heading towards his medical cabinet. Jyn slipped out of the chair, not wanting to hear anymore of his (admittedly, correct) advice.

She returned to Cassian’s room. Knocking quietly, she opened the door and peeked inside – no Cassian. She closed the door again then turned, looking around. Spotting a labelled door across from her, Jyn stepped forward and pushed it open, into a staircase that winded up. The door opened out onto the roof, and to Cassian, leaned over the railing.

She breathed in the open air and felt herself relax a little. Sometimes she forgot her own triggers – stale hair and windowless rooms made her want to tear her own hair out. But this – the breeze and the sudden absence of walls. It helped.

Cassian Andor was a hunter by tragedy, having lost his entire family to a hungry pair when he was six. Either they’d been too full from eating his parents and siblings, or they suddenly lost their nerve at the youngest Andor, the vampires had left him without a scratch. A hunter named Draven had found him hours later, having killed the vamps already, but knowing, by their strength and speed, that they’d fed recently. He retraced their footsteps and found the littlest Andor, locked in a closet and terrified.

He’d trained since then. A hunter by tragedy, but raised like a legacy, from a young age and without the freedom of ignorance. His first hunt had been at fourteen, and Draven had taught him to specialize in familiars, to talk them into turning to his side, to becoming informants to snag bigger targets.

That was a hard life. The kind of life that wore on a person. And he looked it now, worn, as he leaned on that railing.

Jyn blinked, surprised by the bright glow of the moon – even when it came from the moon, Jyn still wasn’t quite used to light like that. She still flinched in the daylight. It was one of the aftereffects of Daystar – one of the curious things left behind, her sensitivity to the sun and the ease with which she would burn, along with things like her preference for a bloody steak and a new allergy to garlic.

Jyn lowered her hand and walked towards Cassian, leaning her back against the railing beside him wordlessly. She looked over his bent back to the city, still buzzing this late at night. Or early, depending how you looked at it. Hunters lived on reversed schedules, awake at night to work, and asleep during the day.

“I’m sorry,” she said, the word coming easier each time. Still, she didn’t look at him. “I know you’re just worried.”

Cassian tilted his head towards her, smiling wryly. “Ran into Chirrut?”

“Kay, actually,” she told him. He raised his eyebrows, lifting a finger to trace her jawline.

After a beat, he said, “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have gotten upset with you.” He put an arm around her, pulling her in and kissing her forehead. “I shouldn’t have said any of that. I don’t mean to fight.”

But he wasn’t done. She could tell by the way his chest went still, holding in a breath. She shut her eyes and waited, breathing deeply and catching hints of his deodorant, his cheap, generic soap.

“What were you after, Jyn?” Cassian voice was soft and measured. He’d been waiting to ask this question. “Why were you in vamp territory and not armed to the teeth?”

She paused, trying to find the wording that would scare him the least. “I got a tipoff about Tarkin,” she told him honestly, “That he was running ops out of that warehouse, building up Krennic’s work again. I know you got the same information, Baze already told me.”

Cassian sighed, flexing his fingers around the railing. “He’s dead, Jyn. Krennic is dead. I know you’re after his work, now, his businesses. But it’s dying too, without him there. You can’t keep chasing him.”

Jyn shut her eyes and remembered – the nest in Davie Village two months ago. Big enough that she actually asked for help, and went with Baze, Chirrut, Cassian, and about half a dozen bombs Kay had filled with silver. Enough to dust any vamp.

She was in charge of getting a bomb in the front door, Cassian as her cover. She hadn’t expected the shrill, familiar screech of a vampire. She hadn’t expected Krennic’s scream, shoving a table aside to get to her. Killing Krennic, _finally_ , had been a complete fluke.

_Jyn hadn’t thought. She darted her foot out and hit the bomb as hard as she could, breaking three of her toes and sending it soaring into Krennic’s stomach as Cassian yanked her out, the bomb blowing as soon as it hit Krennic._

_She scrambled back to her feet, barely registering she’d fallen at all, looking into the doorway at the burning, destroyed building – spotting the charred skeleton exactly where Krennic had been. Jyn stared at it for a moment, not quite comprehending, still wishing to kill him – then Cassian’s voice was in her ear, tugging her away again. “Leave it, Jyn,” he said, pulling her away._

“Just,” he said, now, on the rooftop and into her hair, “Leave it, Jyn. Not for me or any of the others. For you.”

ð ð ð

Baze soon rounded them up for dinner. Setting a plate of cupcakes to cool while they ate, Jyn shot him a look, and Baze said, “Just because you probably survive on woodchips, doesn’t mean the rest of us do.” It made her mouth twist into a laugh involuntarily. She’d forgotten how nice it was to be teased.

Somehow, Cassian had persuaded her to double-down on her promise to Bodhi, to stay at least until Bodhi was fully healed. He proposed the offer again at the table, for the others to see, but Jyn had to think that she preferred the arguments he’d made on the roof, when he whispered them into her hair.

Once dishes were taken care of, Jyn went to check on Bodhi again. Cassian walked with her but disappeared, off to wrap up some last-minute favour he’d promised Kay.

Bodhi was awake; woozy and blurry-eyed, but he was awake, blinking slowly as he looked around the room. Kay hovered around him, fiddling with his IV. Kay didn’t seem concerned by Bodhi’s paleness, but Jyn could see why; it had been a few hours, but he already seemed far better than he had in the alley. Of course, anything was an improvement from delirious with pain.

Jyn curled up on the foot of his bed, taking the opposite side of his broken leg. She let him mumble incoherently, trying to tell her about the dreams Kay’s anesthetics had given him.

When he finished telling her about a moon made of literal cheese, Jyn said, “I don’t know if you remember, but you asked me to stay until you were better. I promised and I’m not going to break it.”

Bodhi smiled, relaxing a little, “Who… _else_ talked you… into that one?”

Jyn shrugged, though they both knew very well who was the most persuasive of their group. Especially when it came to Jyn.

ð ð ð

All the buzzing and the chores Jyn had done for Chirrut hadn’t been for naught. They’d been expecting royalty, apparently. At least, as close as it got in their line of work.

Leia Organa was shorter than Jyn had expected. Clad in all-white, she eyed Jyn in the same way Jyn imagined herself looking at Leia – they were sizing each other up. So Organa _had_ heard of her.

“You’re Jyn Erso,” she said, but her name sounded like something else. _The test subject_ , maybe. _The ghost_. “You survived Daystar. The vampire.”

“Ex-vampire,” Jyn corrected, reminded inexplicably of interviews – interrogations – she’d had shortly after waking up from her fever, all that time ago. Cassian had been the hardest on her, at first, grilling her with questions; Baze had been easiest, loudly slamming the kettle when Cassian got too severe.

Leia nodded, “Vamps are scared of you.” It was a bit of a balm to her other comment. Coming from Leia, it was a high compliment.

Leia moved on, greeting Baze and Chirrut. Beside her, Cassian tipped his head towards Jyn.

“What do you think?” He asked her, under his breath. Jyn watched Leia for a moment, the way Leia held her hands neatly clasped in front of her, her smile glittering. Jyn tipped her head towards Cassian and answered.

“Reminds me of you.”

She knew he would have questions about that, but he’d ask them later, when they were alone. In consolation for waiting, she loosened her crossed arms, so her elbow rested against his.

Leia came with an entourage. Luke was quiet and sweet and reminded her, instantly, of Bodhi as he fiddled with his over-long sleeves and introduced himself. Han was something else.

“She was a _vampire_?!” He blurted, staring at her in disbelief. Automatically, Jyn’s tongue found her canine. It hadn’t retracted with the cure, so she’d filed them down to something closer to normal herself. She felt a bit of an urge to rip out his throat with those teeth. Old habits. “ _And_ a Partisan?! They _work_ with vamps!”

“Watch your mouth,” Leia warned him, eyeing him carefully.

“Familiars, too,” he said, undeterred. Either he was an idiot, or simply had no survival instinct. Or both. “They go undercover as familiars and do the dirty work to get to the big guys, c’mon, that’s _wrong_.”

Jyn didn’t bother to contradict him, standing coolly beside Cassian. It was wrong, what the Partisans did. Morally, anyways. But they were playing a game of lesser evil here, and Jyn knew firsthand what was worse.

“If I’m remembering incorrectly,” Leia said sharply, “Jyn wouldn’t be the only one in the room with past dealings with familiars. You’ve mentioned a deal or two to me, _smuggler_.”

Jyn didn’t know why she was coming to her defense like this. But it wasn’t long until she realized it wasn’t Jyn that Leia was sneaking glances at. She was looking at Cassian, who was staring at Han in a way that made Jyn think it’d be best to duck for cover. Or get a good seat to watch.

“I used to be a vamp,” Jyn said, looking Han in the eye. She turned her chin up shamelessly, flashing the scar beneath her jaw. Everyone else had seen it before. Cassian had done a lot more than see it. But it was still something she didn’t typically advertise and it was brutal-looking, so flashing it made the room go quiet. “And I _used_ to be a Partisan. Saw kicked me out, after I was turned.”

“You get a goodbye fruit basket?” Han sneered.

“I got an arrow to the throat,” Jyn told him. It was Saw’s idea of mercy, trying to shoot her when it was clear she was going to be taken. He’d missed. She’d wished for it for years after Krennic shoved her underground and left her there, all the years until Cassian found her. But Saw was no quitter, and all those fairy tales were right: you should be careful what you wish for.

_“KAY!” Cassian bellowed as soon as they entered the hideout, hand on Jyn’s neck to help her apply steady pressure. Jyn was too busy being annoyed at herself to be surprised at Saw’s action. After all, he’d tried it when she was captured. Of course he was going to try again. It was her poor luck that his aim had improved, and that they’d run into him on her first night out since the cure, months after her rescue. And Saw knew nothing about her escape or her cure._

_Kay appeared, already pulling on gloves. He took one look at Jyn, “Another bite? Jyn Erso, you have the highest bite rate of any hunter I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet.”_

_It startled a laugh out of her, one that Cassian cursed at, because he must’ve felt the swell of blood that had come out with it, too._

_“An arrow from Saw Gerrera,” Cassian corrected._

_“I need to see it in order to repair it,” Kay said, peeling Cassian’s fingers back, then Jyn’s hand. He replaced Jyn’s hand. “Approximately five millimetres deep. It will bleed a fair amount, but it is not a danger to your life. I will bandage it.” Kay said, “I thought Saw Guerra would have better aim.” Jyn laughed again._

_Kay fixed her up, cleaning the wound carefully and bandaging it with a neat white square. She tried to focus on that, and not the way Cassian had yelled for Kay, or the way he’d said her_ _name, when he saw the arrow cut through her neck. While Kay puttered off in search of water and antibiotics, Jyn turned her attention back to Cassian, leaned against the sink and not looking at her._

_Jyn reached out and poked his calf with her toe. “Pretty successful hunt in my books,” she said. Cassian looked up at her with a wry smile._

_“Your bar for successful is extremely low.”_

_Jyn shrugged, “Figure if I don’t eat anything, the night’s a success.” Cassian snorted. “I’m serious,” she said, though she wasn’t. “I mean, the last time I was shot with a silver arrow it was far worse.” She bent to pick up the leg of her pants, showing a starburst scar on her calf. “Burn hurt more than the arrow going through.” I was early on after her change, when she was still in denial, so Krennic decided to prove it with silver._

_Cassian nodded, then began to unbutton his henley, making Jyn’s heart just about stop. But he finished after the first buttons, giving him enough room to show his shoulder, and the lattice-work scar there. “Shrapnel. I triggered it on a trip wire a few years ago.”_

_Kay walked in on them a few minutes later, shoving up pant legs and shirt sleeves, showing each other their worst scars and trying to top one another. She didn’t tip her chin up, showing the ever-red marks just beneath her jaw. That would be too easy._

In the present, Jyn folded in her lips and glanced at Cassian. He was staring at his boots and she knew he wasn’t seeing them, wrapped up in the same memory. She straightened and addressed the group, “Are we going, or what?”

ð ð ð

The weaponry, like the rest of the hideout, was impressive. There were walls of weapons, and even a large oven Kay claimed could melt silver, if they ever needed to repair a stake or knife. Jyn was handed a bulletproof vest that had a law enforcement agency’s name taped over in duct tape.

“Wouldn’t want them knowing where that shipment went,” Han drawled, winking at her and sprawled all over one of the tables. He’d become a lot more amiable since Jyn mentioned her would-be murder by Saw. Jyn somehow suspected it wasn’t that story that had shifted his opinion, but rather the two minutes in which Leia asked for his help outside, and her sharp, muffled voice started in on him through the wall.

Cassian helped her into a torso holster like a coat, and handed her the long, narrow silver stakes that slotted into it. While Leia and Han started to argue over Leia’s bulletproof vest – Han didn’t like her vest, which had narrow gaps on the sides like _all_ bulletproof vests, but Han insisted were _too dangerous_ – and everyone looked to them, Jyn watched the way Cassian’s vest hugged him snugly, and the way his shirt had ridden up a little when he reached for a clip on the top shelf.

Shit. She was pathetic.

They drove to a fancy bar downtown; Jyn was glad Leia was going in with Han, and Jyn was assigned to watch the back door. Jyn figured they would have to hurry, since it was nearing five in the morning, and bars should’ve been closed hours ago.

They figured since Jyn’s face was probably the most recognizable (you don’t get turned and cured without catching a few eyes) it was safest to slot her in the back, where she was least likely to be seen. Cassian was on a nearby rooftop and Luke had gone into the club separately to provide inside cover. She wasn’t sure where Baze and Chirrut got off to; they tended to form their own plans and catch the rest of them up as needed.

They were looking for a specific familiar and maybe his vamp master; Han had some kind of connection to the former. He was cagey enough about it to make Jyn think it had, at some point, been at least mutually beneficial. Jyn was supposed to shoot him if he tried to escape out the back, which suited her just fine. The contact, not Han. Though she would admit that shooting Han had its merits.

Stretching out across the fire escape she’d chosen to perch on, Jyn double-checked her gun was loaded and sat back, watching the door. If all went according to plan, it was going to be a quiet mission. She didn’t really want it to be. It was selfish, but she wanted some action, something to distract her from the thought of Bodhi, weak and exhausted in a hospital bed back at base.

At least there was a nice breeze. Jyn watched the door and the alley, listening idly to the chatter of Leia and Han over their radios. They were snarking, and anyone who didn’t know better would call it flirting.

When she first settled out there, she’d seen a toonie-sized circle flash at her as it caught light, but when she cast her eyes out to the rooftop, she didn’t catch another glimpse. Cassian had settled into stillness in that way he did, like he could be still for ages without a shred of discomfort.

Jyn wished she were the same. She found it hard to stay still, even though she knew movement gave away her position. She shifted, pulling a leg up, then thought better of it – it would make it awkward to stand quickly – and put it back down. She shifted on her hips, looking for a better place to lean.

“Head’s up, Jyn,” Leia’s voice. Jyn braced her hands on the railing bar, waiting for the door to open.

Right as the bar door burst open, Jyn swung down and slammed her feet against the door, hearing the satisfying smack of the door bashing into someone’s skull, and their surprised groan in return.

Jyn landed on her feet and grabbed the door just before it shut, pulling it open to see Han’s contact lying on the ground. She looked at him a beat too long – the movement that caught her eye was a vamp rushing towards her, moving inhumanly fast and pushing her hard in the chest. The vamp’s inhuman strength meant she flew off her feet and backwards, smacking into the brick wall behind her. She squeezed her eyes shut to stave off the dizziness, blinking them back open just in time to see the vamp soaring towards her.

Jyn grabbed his jaw just in time to stop him from ripping into her throat and brought her knee up into his stomach, slowing him down again, but not stopping him. She brought her knee up again, this time hitting his groin and making him stumble, giving her the time to slide her fingers into silver knuckles, and rear back –

But she didn’t need it, because she heard blunt metal collide with the vamp’s spine, sending him down. Then the vamp burst into burning dust, making Jyn close her eyes and turn away instinctively, turning back to see Cassian standing there with his rifle in one hand, a stake in the other.

“You okay?” He said, “You dropped out of my sight.”

Jyn nodded, looking at him, in that stupid bulletproof vest with his normally-carefully styled hair a mess. Just like it was when they woke up in the evenings, or when she’d card her fingers through it at breakfast, while the others pretended not to see.

It hit her like a sucker punch. Bodhi on the ground, Cassian helping her carry him. Chirrut’s hand on her shoulder, talking nonsense to distract her from her rabbit-heart. Kay and Baze, stitching them all together and filling them up, keeping them going. Her boltholes, all cold and silent and empty.

Jyn blurted, “I want to come home.” If she was honest, it’d been on the tip of her tongue all night.

It came out as easily as _I’m fine_ , or _you should see the other vamp_. She’d meant to phrase it as a question, but there was no taking it back now.

Cassian’s eyes bugged for a moment but Jyn saw movement over his shoulder, so she instinctively shoved him aside, punching the familiar, the one she hit with the door, with her silver knuckles, twisting and catching him in the face with the silver toed boots Cassian had handed her all that time ago. He dropped, head lolling to the side.

Jyn looked back at Cassian, who was watching her. Watching her the same way he had when he told her they would catch Krennic sooner together, when he laid out his case for her. The same way he had when she’d agreed and promised to call him for any nests, like in Davie Village. Something about that look _hurt._ But in a good way. Like Daystar shooting through her veins, spreading through her like liquid sunshine. The best way.

He said, “You pick your moments, Jyn.”

Jyn looked at him, “Is that a yes?”

“Of course, it’s a yes,” Cassian said, reaching for her. “Come home.”

ð ð ð

Jyn picked up the pace, hands tucked into her pockets. Shoulders hunched, elbows tucked into her side. She was trying to go unseen.

She had a stamp on her wrist from the bar, one that would be revealed under blacklight, but without it, was just a shiny smudge. Her jeans were ripped at the knees, so her pale skin flashed out with every step. The flashes became faster as she picked up the pace, like a flashlight flicking on and off. She was dressed for clubbing, aside from the shoes. Her shoes weren’t good for clubbing – heavy boots with silver on the toes.

There were footsteps behind her, becoming clearer with every step she took away from the buzz of the club. They were somewhat muffled, like their owners were trying to stalk her quietly, but were also struggling to keep up with her pace. She was half a second slower than a jog, moving swiftly down the street and away from the buzz of the lineups outside bars.

Jyn held her breath as they turned the corner, listening carefully for them. And – there they were, still clamped on her tail, just as they’d been since they spotted her in the bar. She forced herself to slow down slightly. She didn’t want to lose them, and she only needed to make it a _bit_ farther –

“Sweetheart, why’re you running?” One of the men jeered. Jyn cast a glance over her shoulder at them – both tall and blond with faces that weren’t _quite_ right – they’d be handsome, except for _something_ , something she couldn’t put a proper name to. Jyn moved a bit quicker.

 _There_. Half a block, and she’d make it to the alley she’d scoped out earlier. Jyn stepped quickly into it, using her turn to glance at them again, make sure they were still following. She passed a trash bin, one that helped to shield the fact that the alley was actually a dead end.

Jyn turned a few feet from the brick wall that closed the end of the alley, facing the men she’d lured after her. They didn’t have the same air as the older vamps, who smelled something like the arrogance of old money. This idiocy – it was all _nouveau riche_.

“What are you doing out here,” one of them asked, his teeth so white they glowed in the dark. “All alone?”

Vamps like this were even more pathetic than the usual brand – cornering women alone in alleys, with a friend to ensure they would overpower her. She raised her eyebrow at him, and she saw the way the vamps were surprised. They didn’t smell the usual fear on her.

Before they could register what it meant, the man who spoke burst into dust and ash, all trace of him swirling up in glowing red and yellow. The man behind the ash pulled his stake back and double checked it for damage.

Cassian stepped forward and said simply, “She’s not alone.” Even through the ash she could see his smile, small and sure.

ð ð ð

.

.

.

_coda_

_._

This bolthole really wasn’t big enough for all of them. All of Jyn's closet-like hideouts put together probably weren’t big enough for all of them. But here they all were.

“This room does not have optimal air circulation,” Kay told her, peering into a vent, rather than helping her move out, which was what they were supposed to be doing. It seemed a lot more like everyone was using it as an opportunity to snoop.

“How much instant ramen do you _eat_ ,” Baze asked, peering into the garbage.

Chirrut sat on her bed, pawing through the bag that held clothes, “Jyn, you realize you need to _wash_ these?” Jyn snapped the bag from his grasp, glaring even though he couldn’t see it.

“You _can’t_ survive off instant ramen,” Baze continued, “You’ll turn into a salt block.”

“Why do you have so many _knives_ ,” Bodhi asked, unearthing yet another blade from where it was taped beneath her bed. He was sitting on it, his leg in a fresh cast. “Where are we going to put all these _knives_?”

Cassian passed her, saying nothing, but he had a smile on his face, and he brushed his fingers gently along her waist as he passed. Jyn shook her head in disbelief at all of them.

When they returned to base, they brought the two boxes and bag to Cassian’s room, and no one said anything.

(“ _I am relieved that you have decided to give up your charade. It makes more logical sense than keeping up your amateur theatrics_.”)

Well. Almost anyone.

**Author's Note:**

> Jyn: i am Tough and Strong and a Lone Wolf Who Does Not Deserve Emotional Attachments  
> Jyn: spends ten minutes with the crew  
> Jyn: nevermind


End file.
